I got a call at work the other day, from a lady in Ottawa. She was angry and distraught, and very much in need of the help of some kind strangers to make sure our fair country is safe from danger. It went something like this:
Customer: “I need to be put through to the police! It’s about terrorists!”
Me: “Ok, is it an emergency?”
Customer: “I don’t know, it’s about terrorists!”
Me: “Well, is it happening right now? Are you in immediate danger?”
Customer: “No, it’s not happening right now. This is serious!”
Me: “You’ll have to call your local, non-emergency police then.”
Customer: “What?! You think terrorism is something for the local police!?”
Me: “If it’s not an emergency, you don’t call 911.”
Customer: “Put me through!”
Me: “You have to call your local police, ma’am.”
Customer: “What are the local police going to do to save the Parliament from blowing up?! When I do get through to the police, I’m going to tell them you didn’t put me through!”
(At this point, I really wanted to hear what 911 was going to tell her.)
Me: “Fine. Hold on.”
911 operator: “911. Police, fire, ambulance?”
Customer: “What?”
911 operator: “Do you need the police, fire, or am–”
Customer: “Police, I guess.”
911 operator: “Well what are you calling about?”
Customer: “A terrorism… thing.”
911 operator: “A terrorism what, ma’am?”
Customer: “A … terrorist plot!”
911 operator: “Are you in immediate danger?”
Customer: “No. It’s terrorists!”
911 operator: “I’ll give you the direct line to the police, you need to call them, alright?”
Customer: “IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME I WON’T HELP YOU!“
– click –
I shit you not. This woman was lucid and serious. She was not insane. She was just caught up in terrorist hype and her own stupidity and self-absorption.
In much lighter and more jovial news, Laura and I celebrated our seventh anniversary together yesterday. It was, and has been, and will continue to be delightful. We ate at Tokyo Sushi. I’m still not much of a sushi fan, but it wasn’t bad by any means. The tempura was amazing. Tempura sauce is so much better than soy sauce. We also painted on each other, as Laura has documented.
I finished work on Wednesday (as I called in sick yesterday and will today) and I start school on Tuesday. Here comes my final (for now at least) school year!